As I am sure most of you know I am training to walk a half marathon (13.1 miles) at the beginning of April. This is not something I ever thought I would do, which is exactly why I am doing it. Well, that and because I want to keep off the weight I have lost.
The first day I started training, which was only 2 miles I remember thinking - I will never be able to do this! How far do I have to go again? This is crazy! My sister laughed at me, told me to just stick to it and before long I'd be able to do 3 miles and then 7. I didn't really believe her. Well, she may be young but she sure is smart, and of course, she was right.
I stuck to it, 2miles, turned to 3 which turned to 4, and I was doing okay! The first 6 mile was a killer, luckily Nessa was with me on that one (with bronchitis to boot - what a trooper!).
So, now I have a full 2 months of training behind me. As the miles get longer, so does the time it takes to walk them. (thank goodness I have a mom so willing to watch the boys on the really long ones!) I have found this time to be very therapeutic for me. I let my mind wander, and just see what comes up, it even feels a bit like meditation to me. On my first 10 mile I found myself comparing the walk to my life and more specifically to this unexpected trial in my life. When I first started out, I felt forever away from the end. But I was determined, so I just kept going. Quite a ways in, while climbing a hill, I found myself wanting to quit, but there was no point to quitting, because I would still have to walk all that way back. And then came the down hill and felt like I could do this again.
Then came what Nessa and I call the Demon Hill. It goes up and up and does not seem to stop. Just when you think you can't take any more it only gets steeper. (I felt much better once I realized that the local fire dept. has used this particular hill for training purposes). I have walked this hill a few times now, and I still had to stop a couple times to breathe and re-focus, but this time it actually felt a little shorter.
By the end I was tired and dragging my feet, but I did it, and that felt wonderful. My life right now feels like that one big long walk, mostly with big hills hills, and just enough downhill to give me brief rests. But here is the thing, I think I may just finally be seeing the top of this hill. I know there will be others to come but they will pale in comparison to this one.
I walked 6 miles today and it was actually enjoyable. I felt a light inside me that I have not felt for a really long time. The hope and light that I feel now are so precious to me. I want to put them in a jar and hold onto them so I can easily find them again, when it gets a bit dark. Maybe that is why I felt the need to write this all out.
